A photographic Christmas greeting card from 1984. At the top, in green serif lettering, it reads, "MERRY CHRISTMAS! Featuring depraved acts of fornication—from the Smith family." The overall aesthetic evokes a typical American Christian family’s Christmas card, complete with holiday decorations and a clear, striking family resemblance among the members. Everyone in the photo is standing. In the background, on the left, is the family’s "jock"—a 19-year-old American football quarterback sporting a voluminous, layered hairstyle, (in the style of Duran Duran), . He wears nothing but a Christmas-themed sweater, leaving his lower body completely bare and revealing a large, erect penis. In the background, in the center, is the 55-year-old father, he is overweight, with short hair styled with a side part. Like the others, he wears only a Christmas-themed sweater, leaving his lower body entirely exposed and revealing a large, erect penis. In front of the two men, there are three women—all of whom are completely naked. In the foreground, is the family’s "nerd" or "intellectual"—a 24-year-old woman. She wears 80s-style glasses and has firm, round, medium-sized breasts, with a short, layered, romantic-style haircut, (reminiscent of Bonnie Tyler), . In the foreground, is the family’s hypersexual "slut, " possessing a generous bust and a sexy, curvaceous figure. She sports a voluminous, teased, and textured hairstyle, in a "Pop/New Wave" style reminiscent of Madonna. In the foreground, on the right side of the photo, is the mother of the family—a 45-year-old woman. She is a very attractive "MILF", (a "BBW"), with a large, heavy, and pendulous bust. Her long hair is styled in a perm with XXL curls. The women’s hairstyles and makeup are typical of 1984 fashion.